| long time. |
[08 Apr 2007|04:42pm] |
Laura Jackie...
yeah so alot's changed since my last post.
i'm no longer friends with the people that were causing problems in my life. and that's okay because it's given me a chance to become closer to others.
i've pretty much just been spending time with the BF.
we've finally actually GROWN together. and it makes me happy.
we've been together 5 months today.
i dont expect us to be breaking up anytime soon, either.
silly, small things such as holding my hand during church or kissing me on my forehead as a fall asleep. THOSE things really matter. and so what if our sex life isnt the most prominant thing? that's not what matters. he even said it himself!
but anyways, it's the end of my spring break.
i actually enjoyed spending time at home with my family and my boyfriend.
yeah, i didnt really see any of my friends, but that's okay. i see them every day at school!
i feel like i've actually been growing up myself. eliminating gossip is a huge thing to do. but i'm working on it.
i've already read like 4 books [silver is for secrets, red is for remembrance, a walk to remember, and peaches] over spring break. I ######### ALL OF THOSE BOOKS!
reading makes me feel so relaxed.
i'm running out of things to say
and im too hyper to write anymore.
so here's some pics [for those of you who don't even read this....]
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| ah |
[24 Feb 2007|10:00pm] |
im heavily broken
i dont even know what else to say
my best friend ignores me
then runs off to have sex with her boyfriend in the woods
wtf
and im constantly fighting with jt
just someone, please help.
im sinking back to my old ways
and i cant take it.
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| Growing up. |
[20 Jan 2007|11:46pm] |
I've finally realized that I'm growing up.
Last night, I deleted my main MySpace.
Now i have one with 3 friends- the ones in NC.
I don't need fancy photos or a layout.
I have all that i need in life- friends, family, and love.
I haven't ever been this happy in my life.
I've been tanning and going to the gym every few days.
I don't care if i have the scenest hair cut or the coolest clothes.
I wear what's comfortable and what I feel like wearing.
Next weekend is my Governor's Honors Interview, and I've never been so worried in my life.
I am so unprepared, but I cannot let the anxiety take over.
Not only that, but I have three tests over the course of Monday-Thursday.
I guess I'll be studying tomorrow =]
But the good thing about going to Atlanta for my interview- I'm going dress shopping for battalion ball. WOOT!
I really want a pink or green dress this year.
ANDDD.
My mom finally decided to let me get my belly button pierced.
I've wanted it for years and years and my chance has finally come.
She just said it wasn't a battle worth fighting.
And I definately agree!
But the point is, I realized that I'm finally finding who I am.
I'm settling into my group of friends.
But, I'm still friends with most people.
I'm watching my sister grow up and WAY too fast.
She's 12 and she has freaking MySpace.
She learned it from me, and that makes me feel really guilty.
I guess I haven't always been the perfect role model.
At least I know right from wrong...sometimes!
I am learning that people in high school are defining themselves.
The ones who skip school and claim they've learned their lesson.
I'll be driving in six months and one week from tomorrow.
Well, won't be getting my license then because the DMV is going to be closed -.-
But I'm already looking for cars and it just makes me so happy.
Sixteen is one of those "landmark" birthdays.
I don't want it to be a big party, just my best friends.
I'm also learning that love isn't easy.
I've always had the cutesy love where you plan out the rest of your life with that person.
But I can't plan the future.
No one can at our ages.
I just wanna live day by day or week by week.
I love my boyfriend, JT, with all I have.
He's so perfect for me.
We have many disagreements, but we can't ever stay mad at each other.
I'm growing up just being in a relationship with him.
He's teaching me not only to be a better girlfriend, but to be a better person in general.
I hope to be with him for a very, very long time.
I basically turn to jell-o around him.
I admit, he has me wrapped around his pinkie.
But I think it's mutual, even though he rarely tells me.
Jay is so amazing and pretty much my everything at this point =]
I am going to bed now.
<333
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[18 Dec 2006|10:30pm] |
i just feel like everyone is so mad at me.
and i dont mean to start stuff.
and it just HURTS.
and ive realized how much i miss the ones that mean the most.
amber.
erika.
dawn.
christine.
alyssa.
some of these i've completely lost touch with.
and some, i just have grown apart from.
others i just cant be with right now.
typing this brings tears to my eyes.
why cant things be the way they used to be
before guys came between best friends
before distant seperated best friends.
before we all forgot the true meaning of friends.
i just, hate all this.
im so happy in my relationship with jt.
and thats the only good thing i have going for me.
i have to remember to breathe.
maybe i can drown myself in a book
or drown them out with loud music.
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[26 Nov 2006|05:11pm] |
my christmas list:
OR
brand new- the devil and god are raging inside me
there's no point in this list except for myself.
i shouldnt expect to get ONE THING that i want.
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[16 Nov 2006|02:53am] |
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I was doing an lit & comp. assignment and I decided that it would make a wonderful journal entry:
Why are our biggest conflicts with the ones we love the most?
Our biggest conflicts are with the ones we love the most because those are the ones we make ourselves most vulnerable to. They are the ones that we trust with all of our secrets. Our loved ones know everything about us, which they can use against us in tough situations. We respect our friends' opnions more than we respect strangers' opions. We care if someone we love says something critical because they could actually mean it. When around the people we love, we can relax and we don't have to try to be someone else. We are honest with the ones that we love which allows for occasional mistakes. Sometimes, we can say something that might hurt a loved one's feelings without even realizing it. It seems that we have the most conflict with the ones we love because we have feelings towards them, whether it is love, lust, or just friendship. We care about them and their actions. This can cause jealously, which is never a good thing. We never mean to hurt a loved one's feelings, but we do it more often than we all realize.
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| JLKSLKSAJDFLKSD |
[11 Aug 2006|11:17pm] |
MY CELL PHONE WAS FRICKING STOLEN.
i had to cut off the line and report it to the police.
dont know when ill get a new one
i already miss it like soooo much X 534587398!!!!!!
first week of school- SUCKED.
okay.
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| Realizations. |
[01 Aug 2006|10:20pm] |
 Today, I realized that i am not happy with who i am. I am not happy with my physical appearance, my lack of confidence and self-esteem, and my lack of motivation. I always say that i want to change, yet i never can. I am going to re-do my room and hopefully that will help. I want to be in better physical fitness. I want to focus on my academics this year. I want to have a job, so that I can be less dependant. i just....want to be someone that im not. im never going to be happy with myself.
before i bleached out the pink  NO MORE PINK!  |
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| ITUNES |
[01 Aug 2006|07:09pm] |
How many songs: 1028
Sort by song title:
First Song: ...Slowdance on the inside- TBS
Last Song: yule shoot your eye out- fall out boy
Sort by time:
Shortest Song: soliloquy- from first to last
Longest Song: ender- finch
Sort by artist:
First Artist: 30 seconds to mars
Last Artist: zero 7
Sort by album:
First Album: ...And dont forget to breathe- A static Lullaby
Last Album: wonder whats next- chevelle
Top Three Most Played Songs:
1. Scene for Dummies- hollywood undead
2. The word "best friend" becomes re-defined - chiodos
3. over my head- the fray
Search ….
“sex”, how many songs come up? 3
“death”, how many songs come up? 29
“love”, how many songs come up? 33
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| Things. |
[01 Aug 2006|11:21am] |
-driving everywhere
-NC or not?
-if so, carowinds, kfc and days with the biffles.
-went to mountains/ cold ass waterrr.
-s my d birthday.
JavaAIMBot (11:14:47 AM): Omg yes let's bang babe.
lauraplastiqq (11:14:56 AM): i hate banging!
JavaAIMBot (11:15:02 AM): I want you to fuck me like you you dont wanna get in love in love with each other.
lauraplastiqq (11:16:38 AM): ewww
JavaAIMBot (11:16:43 AM): Biology is the star at the disco.
lauraplastiqq (11:17:12 AM): what does biology have anything to do with it?!
JavaAIMBot (11:17:19 AM): Biology is the answer.
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| Hmmm... |
[15 Jul 2006|05:33pm] |
-tacobell with chris andy.
- indepth talks of futures and mssic.
- happy to have a new close friend.
-grandmothers birthday.
-family dinner soon [EW WTF]
-hate the family that's in town.
more soon.
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| SUMMER |
[13 Jul 2006|06:35pm] |
-europe was kindve disappointing.
-2g ears and almost getting killed with erika&chelsey.
-endless days spent with shawn on the lake.
-sixfags soon.
-2 weeks until birthday
-permit, work liscense, and job at chickfila on birthday.
i kind've love life.
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| SUMMER |
[04 Jun 2006|01:24pm] |
summers here.
doing nothing.
volunteering starts tomorrow.
me and fred broke up
europe in 9 days.
most amazing boy ever- SCH.
okay bye.
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[18 Apr 2006|01:37pm] |
I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY ERIKA COX:
1. she is beautiful
2. she is outstanding and i am SOO proud of her, even if others arent
3. she is so understanding and NEVER selfish
4. i miss her every day & i cant wait til i can drive and see her almost every day
RAWRRRRRRRRR ILY BFF!
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[22 Jan 2006|11:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
lexapro
bored
missed alot of school
soccer= monday
exibition= feb.
batallion ball= march 4th.
i miss him.
blehhh.
i drove moms car
hope it doesnt rain
so i can drive again
xoxoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxx
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| New Years |
[07 Jan 2006|11:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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make tonight-emanuel |
] |
Ugh i just typed a whole entry and it got deleted.
okay....New years:
- Amber came over and i was already in a bad mood
- i told tristan not to bother talking to me again ( minus one best friend for laura)
- me and fred were fighting
- i was in bed by 1 AM and crying til amber got me to talk to her.
- i didnt have any champagne til 2 AM when my stepdad had gone to bed and my mom let me.
- things turned out okay in the end.
My resolutions:
- Lose some weight
- Keep things strong with Fred
- Make new Friends
- Work harder in school to maintain A's
- Try not to be so stressed.
and life goes on...
I'm supposed to see fred today. that should be fun. maybe ill take some pics with alyssa-boo.
We're going to hickory for Laura's [cousin] baby shower and late Christmas. That means i leave at 6:45 on monday morning and go straight to school after a 4 1/2 hour drive! how fun!
hehe
anyways. have a good day, nukkas.
XOXOX.
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[31 Dec 2005|08:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
emanuel |
] |
i feel like a 30 year old in a 14 year old body.
seriously.
i cooked dinner for me and my sister- chicken and spinach stuff.
she didnt eat the spinach so i ended up eating the whole container by myself.
i ate at the table, by myself.
i cant help but think about my future.
where am i going to school next year?
i dont know, but it scares me.
being up in NC for that 12 days really hit me.
i just wanted to be there forever.
here are my choices:
1) stay here and go to GMC
2) go to NC- go to Butler
3) homeschool
if i homeschooled, i wouldnt see alot of my friends, i wouldnt be able to do as many activities, and i wouldnt have the high lifestyle. HOWEVER, i would be able to travel more and go see fred and stuff.
i dont know.
it makes me feel sick to my stomach, all of it.
i feel so worn out.
i try to explain it like i've been washed on high too many times and i shouldnt have been because im a brand new shirt.
no one gets it when i try to explain.
sorry for the long entries lately, im just kinda lonely,i guess.
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